The Plights of Icarus

Political parties all aim with their utmost energy to brand themselves in a certain image that they hope we will  grasp and share. Their logos are pinnacle to this imagery in symbolizing what they stand for, whatever that may be. Why don't we study the logos of some of the main parties and see what we can extract from their purposeful designs? It'll be fun.

Well, I'm going to do it anyway.

First in this super cool study (but not first in vote share) is the Labour Party.

To my knowledge, the Labour Party has always utilized the traditional red rose in their logo. What do we know about roses? They're a type of flower, and a rather pretty type at that, frequently associated with notions of love and grace. Given the right amount of attention they can grow into beautiful specimens of the plant kingdom. However, they are easily susceptible to a variety of diseases and very fragile. By using a rose, Labour want to show appeal as the traditional, honest bunch, full of life and beauty (just like Harriet Harman), with their policies rooted in British heritage - but like all flowers, roses can be uprooted with little difficulty. They're also thorny buggers, and with a slip of an unprotected hand you could find their stalks piercing your skin and blood trickling down your wrist.

The Liberal Democrat logo might seem palpable in its connotations at first, but let's dig slightly deeper into this yellow ex-parrot. Birds are usually regarded as very free and majestic animals, going where they please via their evolutionary gifted wings. This clearly gives precedence to the notion of liberty, allowing people to take flight in pursuit of their own lives. Birds are also fairly peaceful creatures (especially when they have olive branches in their beaks). Sounds good. Let us not forget, though, that birds cannot stay airborne forever, and they're eventually forced back to solid ground. Birds are also known to do their natural business - a messy natural business - on those down below, be it inadvertently or with distaste. On top of this, what happened to Icarus when he flew too close to the big yellow sun on his escape from Crete? This is a blatant logo with not so blatant faults.

To do away with presumptions, I will try to be as least biased with this one as possible. The Conservative Party logo is a large green oak with a blue trunk. Once again we see a logo rooted in British heritage, the oak being an English tree that is native to many parts of the world. Perhaps this represents Britain's history in what it has done for the world, spreading democracy and civilisation through its empire, something that grew into a harmonious network of countries (the Commonwealth). We should not forget that Britain's historical reach across the continents was not all beneficial, though. Moving back to the oak itself, they are strong in stature and wonderful in presence. Like many of their species they take a long time to grow, but once finished are marvellous trees. The green is clearly meant to represent the environment and a new party that has changed and modernised, yet still holds true to its original values by what keeps it held up. Oaks are also large, burly trees, yet they produce small offspring that, after growing amongst their branches, scatter to find plantation and growth themselves. I do understand the inclusion of the rather amateurishly drawn top to show a party of youth and vibrancy, I just think it's a little too childish in its scribbles when I look at it. That being said, this is a symbol that represents a lot, the majority of it comprising good, decent values.

I find UKIP's logo both boring and stupid. A pound symbol with the party's name sliced through the middle. Wow, imaginative. This is the party with a previous leader that charged the taxpayer around £3 million, one that says if we were to discharge from Europe we'd save heaps of money that could be put towards schools, the NHS, defence, and so on. This money would be put back into 'our' pockets. Perhaps that's where the pound symbol arises from. I don't know, it just comes off wrongly. I'm not a fan of purple either.

The BNP's logo is probably the most obvious and certainly the most ridiculous. Fascism isn't British. Racism isn't British. A violent, ruthless party that uses people's fear and misunderstanding isn't British. So why they have the Union Jack adorning those three useless letters is beyond me. Here we have a disgraceful party disgracing their flag. A party that claims to put British people first but deserves to come last in all elections. I support the flag. I do not support this logo, nor who enforce its wretched ideals.

Finally we come to the Green Party. We've got planet Earth as.... is that another flower? My, politicians do like their plantlife. This is noticeably natural, with green representing the environment and nature itself, the two I presume being the most important factors of this logo. It says, "the Earth is pretty, let's keep it that way." I agree with this, considering myself to be a fairly environmentally friendly individual. I've not got too much else to say except that this is a party logo with a message that is unproblematic to absorb.

It's Alright

A lot of my peers frown on me when I say I have admiration for Margaret Thatcher. Not all of them, but enough for me to have had my beliefs pinned as wrong or, as someone in one of my university classes once put them, "f-----g crazy."

"She was a total bitch.... I think," said a girl when our tutor, who happened to be discussing British political history, asked what the class thought of Britain's iron premier.

"I hear they keep two guards outside Thatcher's home to stop her getting out," added another, giggling in the middle of her row.

"Old hag."

"Evil cow."

"Horrible [here was whispered a certain cuss I don't think I should repeat, even with the purposeful use of hyphens]."

And so on and so forth until I became acutely aware that I was surrounded by a room of what I believed to be predominant lefties, liberals and, ultimately, laughing gentry.

I don't want to generalize and I most certainly don't want to oust the political views of others as obsolete, but sometimes as a student I feel as if I am one of the only predominantly right-wing adherer in a field of those who place themselves on the other end of the figurative spectrum.

A big question here is raised then:  why conservative?

When some are asked where their political ideology stands on a scale, they respond with the old 'small' or 'capital' letter ranking. For instance, you might be a 'small L liberal', or a 'capital S socialist.' If I'm to use this particular scale, then I'd classify myself as a medium 'C' conservative.

Since I was around seventeen or eighteen, I always knew who I was going to vote for when the time came, and very, very little could have changed this. Much of my personal outlook, national (and international) views and political beliefs are what the Conservative Party, and conservatism itself, are.

I believe that the government shouldn't be the master of its people. It shouldn't tell them where to work, how to run their lives, how to maintain their family. In complete essence, the government should be a servant. It is the people who should decide how the government should act, not the other way around. Everyone should be free to live as they wish without some big grey force looming over their moves, intruding and intervening where it deems fit. Of course the government should be there if and when we need it as a helping hand, someone to pull as back up and then push us forward. Of course it should hold a degree of power for our protection and guidance. Of course we need some form of ruling. But we don't need it to be our mother, telling us what to do and how to do it.

I believe, for the most part, that socialism is merely diet communism. Like communism, it wants to pretend that everyone is the same, that everyone should be labelled and have their decisions made for them, that making everybody equal will solve all our problems. It likes to drain its citizens of money for 'improvement' and 'upkeep'. It has those who strive to work hard and provide for themselves be a crutch for those who can't be bothered and are happy for others to work hard on their behalf. It wants everything to be set out and plotted on a straight line with an authoritative fist, one that punches and strikes should you stray from this line. This goes against the fabric of freedom and why socialism, like its big brother, will never work properly.

People aren't the same. If you try and assume this, all you do is stifle individual liberty, cripple entrepreneurship and defy human will.

Now just because I adhere to this largely conservative state of mind does not mean I am some far right-wing maniac. I hold a number of what might be considered left-wing views and attitudes:

• I believe that everyone should be entitled to free, public and decent healthcare. I'm a full supporter of the NHS - it's always been there when I've needed it, and I have no issues with it. Everyone should pay their way for the system because everyone is a user. One day you might be fit as a fiddle, the next you could be battling with your own heart. Good public healthcare provides a good, healthy society. 

• I think that mankind is to blame for the majority of the environmental issues our planet suffers. You only need to chance the news recently and see the great oil spill making its way towards America to understand the damage we cause. I don't think that the Earth is just 'hotting up' and that it does so naturally over periods of time. I'm a full believer in global warming - I've watched the documentaries, listened to the sceptics and my view hasn't changed. We need to tackle climate change effectively and very soon.  

• While I'm a big supporter of the free market, I do believe there needs to be a strong levy on banks in the future. They've run amok for too long, splashing waves of money at worthless products, then selling their own products with no compensation or return. 

• Europe is a big'un, and unlike many on my side of the political fence, I think pulling out of it would be a big'un of a mistake. Personally, while Europe is far from ideal to many countries, not least the UK, the pros outweigh the cons of our membership, and I think we would benefit from a deeper and more negotiable relationship with Europe as opposed to this notion of supreme sovereignty we are entitled to and UKIP's claims that leaving it is the sole remedy for Britain's economic ills. That being said, we should forever keep the pound.

There are other, single issues to which my views may ascertain themselves with a degree of leftyness, but I don't want to construct a long bullet list as to why I'm not necessarily one hundred percent conservative (or large 'C'). All of my other views are essentially right, of which I may extend on in the future. Be they not just right-wing, but right in a manner of correctness, is down to one's own thoughts.

Believe in Me, Who Believes in You

It's an old, fairly overused phrased, but I think it captures the new Prime Minister's speech on the steps where so many before him have stood perfectly. "....Don't ask, 'What am I just owed' - but more, 'What can I give'." I believe that is the basis of the Conservative Party - to work for yourself and the country, and when you can't, ask for a hand to do so.

Now that Mr Cameron, after four and a half gruelling years, has whisked himself through that wooden door, we have now seen the end of thirteen equally gruelling years of the Labour Party. I believe he'll be taking two long sighs - one, that his quest is over, the second, that a harder quest has just begun.

It is unfortunate that Cameron couldn't enter his new London home without Clegg following behind him, but so be it. As he said himself, a coalition will churn up all sorts of challenges, but I'm certain Cameron and his Cabinet will deal with them swiftly and sensibly.

Since I became politically minded, I took a back-seat in the travels of the man who is now leader. I watched him be asked if he ever pleased himself sexually over Margaret Thatcher on Friday Night with Jonathon Ross, saw him travel across a bleak wilderness of snow on a sled of huskies, have snot wiped on his back during a news interview by a courageous teenager. It would appear all of this is shoved into the past as that black door slowly closed last night.

Today both Clegg and Cameron face great hurdles aside from their own differences - our increasing deficit, immigration, social decline and the threat of terrorism to name just four. If they can manage to pull together in the long run, this will be a historic, and prosperous, coalition indeed.

David Cameron and Nick Clegg before their five year sleepover.

To add to this, Mr Amess was re-elected as my MP with an increased vote, in which I was fortunate enough to attend the national count for my constituency and watch the declaration - a fantastic but tiring experience.

So, we have the first Conservative Prime Minister since Sir John Major, and both my constituency and ward remain in Tory hands.

I'm sure many Labour voters are kicking themselves right now. I think they'd better invest in shin pads.

Conservabal Demotives

I am so remarkably clever with my post titles. Let me muse on its imaginative elegance for a moment.... Yes. I should take Letwin's place for the production of future manifestos. 

Now that I've stopped tooting my rusty horn, let me also muse on this week's happenings in Westminster. So, we have a Hung Parliament - the first since 1974. The 'Clegg bounce' or 'Cleggmania' being reported all over various media outlets turned out to be nothing more than a bunch of Clegg crap, and Cameron managed to muster a larger number of seat gain than Thatcher did thirty years ago. However, she managed to win a majority, and it seems that we (I use the word 'we' because I am a member of the party and also because I want to feel involved and politically with it) just couldn't break the 326 mark. Gordon Brown has finally decided to take his leave, most likely since he saw this blog and decided my use of Sophie Ellis Bextor against his staying was far too smart even for him. Now, where does that leave us?

If we are to believe the news today, it would seem Labour's thirteen years of power are to come to an end and that a Conservative and Liberal Democrat - or 'LibCon' - coalition is almost certain. The Prime Minister is supposedly packing his bags, saying his goodbyes and will be off to chat to Her Majesty either tonight or tomorrow.

Dear Gordon

59 Year Old's Lease Runs Out - Doesn't Want to Go

I've heard strange reports that there's a tenant whose lease has expired sitting quite comfortably in the confines of a rather splendid looking Georgian style home located at the following address:

10, Downing Street
London
2W1A 2AA

Despite a loud call from millions of landlords for him to leave the house, this odd fellow refuses to open the door and depart, choosing instead to wait inside until a time of his own decision.

 A photograph taken of the gentleman in question as he wrongly re-enters said home.

We shall soon see how this bizzarre event unfolds.

It's Now or Now

The Jam. You must have heard of them. They're a famous English punk rock/pop band featuring vocals by the energetic Paul Weller that enjoyed their illustrious heyday throughout the 1970s and early 1980s. Their plethora of hits include 'Town Called Malice', 'Going Underground' (wonderfully parodied with a massive insult to London's Tube System sometime in 2005) and, aptly, 'Down in the Tube Station at Midnight.' However, there is another song produced on their 1977 album In the City named 'Time for Truth' I find to be, for reasons that will soon become clear, hugely important right now. Its lyrics are as follows:

Whatcha trying to say that haven’t tried to say before
You’re just another red balloon with a lot of hot gas
Why don’t you f--k off?
And you think you’ve got it worked out
And you think you’ve got it made
And you trying to play the hero
But you never walk home in the dark
I think it’s time for truth
And the truth is you’ve lost Uncle Jimmy
Admit your failure and decline with honour while you can
And you think you’ve got it sussed out
And you think that we’re brain washed
And you’re trying for a police state
So you can rule our body and minds
What ever happened to the great empire?
You bastards have turned it into manure
Time for the young to stick together now
I bet you sleep at night with silk sheets and a clean mind
While killers roam the streets in numbers dressed in blue
And you’re trying to hide it from us
But you know what I mean
Bring forward those six pigs
We wanna see them swing sod high

What relevance does this song have on the final day before Britain goes to the polls and decides the fate of its many battling politicians that won't cease their stinging, spin and screams until the very last second?

Widespread strikes, a faltering economy, escalating troubles in Northern Ireland, stark unemployment, racial tensions and the so called 'Winter of Discontent' of 1979, in which the entire country was practically held hostage by ruthless Trade Unions as light went out and rubbish piled up in the streets, defined the conclusion of what was a dark decade for the nation. The late 1970s saw Jimmy 'Crisis? What crisis?' Callaghan, then incumbent Prime Minister and the last leader of the 'Old' Labour Party, struggle to cope with a country that was struggling to cope itself. Mr. Callaghan had entered Downing Street upon the resignation of Harold Wilson - who left his position due to ill health - with no electoral endorsement by the country. Then, as is true now, that very country is in trouble. While this modern trouble may not be of the same manner, it is a trouble that must be faced  and tackled come Friday. Then, as now, Labour has formed our government. Then, as now, Britain was hurled into a skip, put on the back of a truck - a physically stout gentleman all smiles and with comb parted hair at the wheel - and sent down to the tip.

Then, as now, the Labour Party have been at the helm of the many serious problems we encounter and must deal with. It was, and is, the party of higher taxes and spending, but with no economic or social reward. It was, and is, the party of endless promises, but with no ultimate fulfilment. It was, and is, the party of apparently moral and just members, but with lies and deceit at every turn. Then, as now, we have a choice - do we want five more years of this absurdity, or do we want something better?

 "Jobs? What jobs?"

This isn't going to be a continual attack on the limitless failings of the Labour Party. This isn't going to be about the £1.4 trillion of debt our government has managed to create, nor will it be about the increasing level of child poverty and unemployment it refuses to effectively deal with, nor is it about a pair of leaders that saw fit to attack each other and cause huge divide not just amongst themselves, but in the country they were supposed to oversee. It is going to be about one decision that 45 million voters will have tomorrow.

On Thursday, Gordon Brown isn't in charge. David Cameron can't tell you what to do. Nick Clegg won't be the kingmaker the media like to label him as. The ones in charge, for once, are us.

The amount of people that I have spoken to who say they won't be voting is astonishing, but not surprising. Everyone is sick to death of politicians. All parties have been as bad as one another when it has come to crushing and then attempting to regain the public's trust after last year. I fear many people will not be voting out of support, but out of distaste for the other party. There will be those who despise Brown, but will vote for his party out of hatred for the Conservatives. There will be those that detest Cameron, but don't want to see Clegg in Downing Street. There will be those who think Clegg is a moron, but would rather see their constituency under a veil of yellow than with a hint of red or blue. There will be those that will stuff the big three and vote out of protest. Then, there will be those that shall just sit indoors and let others decide for them.

Which one of these fine gentleman would have gained your vote were you eligible last time round? I think the kid is MP for Sheffield Hallam now. 

Despite our political differences, if there was one issue that I and my local Labour candidate, Tom Flynn, agreed on, it was that everyone should vote whatever their inclination, be it Labour, Conservative, Liberal, Green, UKIP, SNP, Independent, or even one of the smaller, central issue parties. It is my opinion that everyone should extend the democratic right we are fortunate enough to have and choose who it is that represents and guides us. It is what I shall be doing tomorrow for the party I support and believe in, and others should do the same.

If David Cameron enters Number 10, despite the man and his party having my complete support, I am not going to be unrealistic. The Conservatives are not going to wave some enchanted golden chiselled rod and have Britain turn into a 244, 820 square kilometre Centre Parcs in the passing of a day. Just like Labour and the Liberal Democrats, the Conservative Party are not perfect - far from it. Gordon Brown isn't perfect. David Cameron isn't perfect. Nick Clegg isn't perfect, and in their defence, they never claimed to be. But I think the Conservatives are the ones with the guts. I think, like before, they're the right ones to get us out of this mess. I think Call Me Dave, while I can understand the criticisms aimed at him, is best suited to lead the country. I think the Conservatives are Britain's natural ruling party for a reason - because, while they made their fair share of mistakes, the great achievements and things they did for our country outweigh these shortcomings. If you disagree with me, then do something about it tomorrow.

Let us, just for a moment, recall what happened to the Tories in 1997:

The United Kingdom General Election of 1997 - conservative nightmare, socialist paradise, liberal mid-happy, sort of pleased feeling.

So, we come to this: if you want another term of Labour, put a cross in their box. If you like the look of the Liberal Democrats, please head down to your station and put your views on the ballot paper. If none of those take your fancy, vote for someone else. Just don't stare at the television on Friday or Saturday shaking your head if you tried to do nothing about it.

Whoever forms our next government, it's going to be an extremely tough ride.... but I know who I want to ride with.

Local Batonnage

Oh my, what a week. I've been all over the constituency, up and down, in an attempt to understand and occasionally woo voters beside a remarkably steadfast team, which included David Atkinson (former Conservative MP for Bournemouth East) and a council candidate for a ward in Brixton.

Support has been, overall, encouraging. Naturally some streets have not been a Tory paradise. A man near a park gate waved his angry finger at me proclaiming that we were "all crooks out to get taxpayer's money." I'd say that would be the Labour Party myself, but he was entitled to his ramblings. Another gentleman told me to save my breath and that nothing would stop him voting for the Liberal Democrats. Another said "If there was a box with the option 'None of the Above', I should like to put my cross in that," and slammed his door. Quite amusing.

On the flip side, I have received some more pleasant responses. I interrupted yet another middle-aged man during his dinner and he proceeded to have a discussion with me regarding immigration. He stressed that he did not believe our floodgates should simply be shut, but felt Britain's borders are far too lax. When I stated Cameron's plans for immigration, he cut me off and told me 'I' had his vote. One single mother shared my distaste for our government, another woman upon noticing my rosette stated "Gordon Brown out!", and yet another, while at first wavering between Conservative and Liberal Democrat, I managed to sway after talking about the hollow policies and faltering promises that Clegg is offering.

I think by far the most interesting part of the week just gone was attending a hustings debate in a nearby church with Mr. Amess. Also at attendance were the Labour, Liberal Democrat, UKIP and Green candidates. The English Democrat candidate could not attend, and the BNP candidate was uninvited. It was very interesting to watch as each of them stood up and made their pitches to local voters.
Before it even started, everyone was asked to put their phones on silent. As soon as the Liberal candidate stood up, his phone began ringing - not once, but three times. Fumbling around with his mobile, he said "Sorry, just a Lib Dem voter ringing me." Well, at least you have one. Whether it was a staged phone call or he was actually stupid enough to not turn off the device, he made himself look like a royal t---t.

The Liberal made the old case of Clegg that his party was the squeaky clean, untested party that was finally ready to take the lead. Don't make me laugh, please. The Labour candidate was a nice fellow with, I must say, some well put points, but he just cannot argue for such a weak party in the state of despair and destruction it is. The UKIPer received more applause than I felt comfortable with.... that was until he put forward his idea for bringing back corporal punishment in schools. After that, very lukewarm indeed. As for the Green candidate, who arrived late, he continued to put his hand in his coin clinking pockets and stutter nearly every time he rose to answer a question. For some additional information, just as in the televised debates, each candidate had a few minutes at the beginning and conclusion to relay their purpose, as well as a set period of time to answer each question. Even though it was a local debate, I must say that only one of the questions that I can remember was actually focused locally, and while the meeting was quite short, I'm glad I attended.

I also shared a chat with some members of the two hundred strong audience, as well as the Labour and UKIP candidates (including the Labour candidate for Rochford and Southend East, Kevin Bonavia). All three were pleasant chaps I was happy to speak to.

To finish, a local worker came up to me just before I went to indulge in Conservative policy talk. "I see you're wearing blue, so you're the only one that's going to make sense around here." That was a nice little send-off.

The Prime Minister shaking hands with Gordon Brown.